Like thousands of privileged Indonesian women out there, I returned to my hometown, Jakarta, for family reason. After hearing stories from my fellow privileged Indonesian "seniors", I tried to prepare myself for this reverse culture shock I was about to experience. However, Life never fails to surpise you with its secret wanders and one cannot be fully-prepared for a shock I am about to share with my fellow Indonesian women...
For those who are not so familiar with the Indonesian culture, a middle-class Indonesian women are expected to behave like the following: [for those already familiar, please jump to the next Chapter]
1. she shall not be seen walking outside (only the less privileged walked on the main road pedestrian in Jakarta... middle-class< only walk indoors a.k.a shopping malls with full-blown AC. And how can you walk much in those 5 inch high Loubutins?)
2. she shall not do any house work (house maids are relatively affordable here and most Indonesian girls I know are bred in such a way that they are incapable of doing any cooking or cleaning)
3. she shall not be too ambitious or at least act dumb (most Indonesian men have told me they would prefer a wife who can be a good Mom and attractive... intelligence is rarely in the to have list for these species. I wonder if their Moms taught these boys this because their Moms were also airheads? this is like a chicken and egg thing)
4. she shall look gorgeous at all times (well, who doesn't want to look good? but the demand for superficial beauty in women here is extremely high. When you go to malls on weekday in Jakarta, you will see tonnes of attractive women in salon-blow-dry-curly hair, skin tight dress, and stiletos. Unfortunately, it is not as easy to spot an equally attractive bloke. The ratio of good-looking women to good-looking men is like 100:1 in Jakarta... probably 5:1 in Singapore... 2:1 in Hong Kong... and 1:1 in New York. BAD NEWS for you single ladies!) ---> perhaps when I have the chance someday, I'll take photos of Indonesian girls vs. boys and post 'em online~
5. she shall not drive (it is unsafe for women to drive unaccompanied by a man primarily because of the endless traffic jams in Jakarta. Why, you may wonder? This happens to a lady friend of mine: She was stuck for hours in traffic, bored to death behind the wheels, she decided to call a friend for a chat... minutes later, she heard a knock on the window. Two guys wearing helmet on a motorcycle raised a chopper at her, shouted demanding for her cell phone. She gave them her cell phone, relieved nothing worse happened to her. There were worse incidents that happened to women drivers in Jakarta.
~According to Kompas (the most [and only] reliable Indonesian newspaper) Jan 2012 report, crimes rates in Jakarta remained the same in the past year, however the number of senseless violent crimes had increased in the year 2011. Blame it on a phony government? corrupted authorities? uneducated impoverised population?
6. she shall be a virgin but cheeky at the same time. Ohyes, Indonesian men date any pretty girls, sleep with anyone (I will discuss this in the next Chapter as something that shocked me very much), but a huge percentage of them will only marry virgins. No wonder hymen reconstruction surgery is quite popular in this city I've heard from few gossipy old ladies. Despite all the crazy nightclub/ nightlife entertainments in this city, Indonesian men are old-fashioned men at heart, or should I say hypocrites?)
7. she shall...
perhaps I should stop here as we know, this list is pretty much endless (:
For those who are not so familiar with the Indonesian culture, a middle-class Indonesian women are expected to behave like the following: [for those already familiar, please jump to the next Chapter]
1. she shall not be seen walking outside (only the less privileged walked on the main road pedestrian in Jakarta... middle-class< only walk indoors a.k.a shopping malls with full-blown AC. And how can you walk much in those 5 inch high Loubutins?)
2. she shall not do any house work (house maids are relatively affordable here and most Indonesian girls I know are bred in such a way that they are incapable of doing any cooking or cleaning)
3. she shall not be too ambitious or at least act dumb (most Indonesian men have told me they would prefer a wife who can be a good Mom and attractive... intelligence is rarely in the to have list for these species. I wonder if their Moms taught these boys this because their Moms were also airheads? this is like a chicken and egg thing)
4. she shall look gorgeous at all times (well, who doesn't want to look good? but the demand for superficial beauty in women here is extremely high. When you go to malls on weekday in Jakarta, you will see tonnes of attractive women in salon-blow-dry-curly hair, skin tight dress, and stiletos. Unfortunately, it is not as easy to spot an equally attractive bloke. The ratio of good-looking women to good-looking men is like 100:1 in Jakarta... probably 5:1 in Singapore... 2:1 in Hong Kong... and 1:1 in New York. BAD NEWS for you single ladies!) ---> perhaps when I have the chance someday, I'll take photos of Indonesian girls vs. boys and post 'em online~
5. she shall not drive (it is unsafe for women to drive unaccompanied by a man primarily because of the endless traffic jams in Jakarta. Why, you may wonder? This happens to a lady friend of mine: She was stuck for hours in traffic, bored to death behind the wheels, she decided to call a friend for a chat... minutes later, she heard a knock on the window. Two guys wearing helmet on a motorcycle raised a chopper at her, shouted demanding for her cell phone. She gave them her cell phone, relieved nothing worse happened to her. There were worse incidents that happened to women drivers in Jakarta.
~According to Kompas (the most [and only] reliable Indonesian newspaper) Jan 2012 report, crimes rates in Jakarta remained the same in the past year, however the number of senseless violent crimes had increased in the year 2011. Blame it on a phony government? corrupted authorities? uneducated impoverised population?
6. she shall be a virgin but cheeky at the same time. Ohyes, Indonesian men date any pretty girls, sleep with anyone (I will discuss this in the next Chapter as something that shocked me very much), but a huge percentage of them will only marry virgins. No wonder hymen reconstruction surgery is quite popular in this city I've heard from few gossipy old ladies. Despite all the crazy nightclub/ nightlife entertainments in this city, Indonesian men are old-fashioned men at heart, or should I say hypocrites?)
7. she shall...
perhaps I should stop here as we know, this list is pretty much endless (:
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